Dear You, the Mum Who Misses Herself

You don’t have to justify it.
That ache in your chest?
That dull grief for the version of you who felt free, purposeful, wild, alive?
It’s real. And it’s allowed.

You can love your family and still feel like you’ve gone missing inside it.
You can be surrounded and still feel starved for space.
You can have all the “things that should make you happy” and still wonder:
But where did I go?

This letter is not here to shame you for craving silence.
It’s not here to tell you to be more grateful.
It’s here to say:

You’re not broken.
You’re not ungrateful.
You’re in a season of heavy, relentless becoming.

And that’s hard.

It’s hard to restart your identity while navigating nap schedules and noise.
It’s hard to pour from a cup that rarely gets filled.
It’s hard to carry emotional weight for toddlers, teens, partners —
while still trying to hold onto your own mind.

But underneath the overstimulation, under the routine,
under the fight-you-didn’t-ask-for with the toddler this morning,
there’s still a you in there.
She hasn’t left.
She’s just buried beneath the noise.

She doesn’t need fixing.
She doesn’t need a Pinterest routine.
She needs permission — to feel what she feels, to grieve, to laugh, to say:
“I love my life… and I miss myself too.”

And both can be true.

You’re doing so much.
You’re keeping people alive and nurtured and growing.
But I hope you find a way — even for five minutes —
to reconnect with the you that still longs for more than survival.

Not because you’re selfish.
Because you’re human.
And you matter too.

With all my heart,
The Self-Care Love Letter Project

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